I can’t help but want to shake (in a loving fashion of course) people who email me and tell me how they struggle with being friends with an ex–just to get them back.
If you’re having a tough time dealing with the breakup… there’s no question about that your heart is tattered. You’re broken. You’ve spent the last few weeks sucking in air between your two front teeth just to keep yourself from falling into a dark abyss of another cry attack.
You can’t eat. You can’t drink. You feel like you’re just a small a fragment of the person you thought you once were. Your world is completely turned upside down. My heart truly goes out to you.
Does coping with a breakup when you and your ex remain friends impossible? Well… to be honest, it’s next to impossible.
I know it feels counter-intuitive to not pick up the phone when your ex calls or answer a text message asking you to meet up.
I mean…Heck, you want them back and if they show any interest in you even after the fact they broke up with you… THEN THIS IS YOUR CHANCE IN GETTING THEM BACK, RIGHT?!
… um… Wrong.
What you do after a breakup will either put nail the coffin shut on of your once wonderful relationship or help you and your ex work together to rebuild and strengthen a new relationship. Being friends with an ex so soon after a breakup makes it so much tougher to get them back.
Your ex initially broke up with you for their own reasons. Regardless of how much you wish you can change their mind, trying to convince them that they made a mistake or that you’ll change your ways is futile (because when it comes down to it, the only person whose feelings you have any control over is yourself).
This is when some people may decide to use the backdoor of being friends with their ex to win them back. This method is essentially people trying to manipulate their ex into falling back in love with them.
Here are three reasons why being friends with an ex will do more damage than good.
Mika loves to help others overcome their transparent beliefs that prevent them from having the love they want. She does regular live online presentations on thriving relationships where she also answers live questions. Mika is not a fan of being tickled and one day Clay will realize this as they have way too many tickle fights.