Clay hates Valentine’s Day but I don’t.
I’m indifferent towards it.
However, I go chocoholic crazy for the colossal heart-shaped box of chocolates.
A Twitter friend asked how I felt about Valentine’s Day. I told him that when it came to Valentine’s Day, I can take it or leave it .
[Cheese Alert]: My relationship with Clay isn’t celebrated on one day out of the year–we celebrate our relationship every single moment we’re together.
The teasing loving banter, the gentle caresses as we walk by each other in our apartment, our (sometimes ungraceful) choreography in our small kitchen, our strolls in the park (in silence or absorbed in deep conversations about our business, our goals, dreams, the past, present and future.) We honestly don’t need or want one day out of the year to remind us to appreciate and love each other.
Here 10 ways you can stay sane on Valentine’s Day and not crack under the pressure:
1. Love Every Facet of Yourself
Having a good relationship with yourself is at the root of a healthy and loving relationship. If you can’t love and accept yourself, warts and all, then you won’t be open enough to receive anyone’s love. Not having a loving relationship with yourself means you will unconsciously reject love until you accept yourself first.
By only internalizing the thoughts that serve you you’ll begin to love yourself and be open to love.The more you sacrifice yourself for your relationship and your partner, the more you do them a disservice by denying them the person they want so desperately to love.
2. Recognize Mutual Shared Humanity
Instead of taking out your negative emotions on the people you love most, share the human experience with them. Don’t use them as a scapegoat for your bad mood. Know that this person has their own fears, dreams and hopes… they’re just like you! Exude compassion and kindness to the people around you. Understanding that the two of you both deal with the same emotional experiences will help shine a beacon of light in the darkest moments.
3. Make the Small Moments Count
Whether you’re busy with work, school, raising a family, household chores or any other responsibilities, take a moment to be present with your partner. Life can get so busy at times that we forget to be in the present moment with the people we love. Set time aside to appreciate what and who you have in your life. Instead of being caught up in the past or worrying about the future, being in the present moment will help you make the most of the time you have with the people you love.
4. Letting Go of the Past Means Focusing on What You Can Control
Pain is a fact of life. You can’t control what happens to you. However you do have control over how you respond to adversity. Your significant other said or did something that upset you? You got into an argument with a close friend? Make a conscious choice to let it go and move on. The more you dwell on what can’t be changed, the more you dwell in the past. Aspire to positivity and make the next moment and interaction in your life the most uplifting and rewarding experience you can.
5. Growth is Only Possible When You Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Do you come home to zone out in front of the television? Have your interactions with your loved ones gone stale? Do you feel a vague sense of dissatisfaction in your life? Getting out of your comfort zone is the first step to living a life with awareness and intention.
The more you become complacent or stagnant in your life, the more likely you are to rely on external circumstances to “entertain” you and make you feel good. Get out of your comfort zone and try something different like joining a gym, signing up for a class, traveling, taking up a new hobby, and meeting new people. Getting out of stagnation mode will make more room for growth in your relationship.
Mika loves to help others overcome their transparent beliefs that prevent them from having the love they want. She does regular live online presentations on thriving relationships where she also answers live questions. Mika is not a fan of being tickled and one day Clay will realize this as they have way too many tickle fights.